Co-authors: Dr. Amy De Silva and Dr. Thomas Priolo

School nowadays has evolved into becoming a competitive environment, where kids are required to multi-task, perform academically well, maintain social status with friends, as well as pick up extra-curricular activities to bolster their resume. It seems like parents and kids are in constant pursuit of academic success, which can at times feel like a high-stakes game. Sometimes, this can lead to both parents and children feeling like they are under overwhelming amounts of pressure to perform at their best most of the time. From the relentless pursuit of high grades to the constant comparison with peers, the stress of academia can take a toll on their well-being, and if not caught early, may lead to the early onset of anxiety and depression.

As parents, we find ourselves navigating this complex landscape alongside our children, eager to step in and offer as much help as we can to support their academic expectations and mental health as well. Let’s dive into some ways to recognize when your child is starting to feel burned out from the academic pressure, as well as ways to help our kids effectively manage academic pressure together, turning it from a burden into a stepping stone for growth and resilience!

Unfortunately, there is no future-foretelling crystal ball that can inform us of when our child is dealing with academic pressure or stress. The best way to identify your child’s stress levels with school work is simply by asking them. Set up regular times to chat with your child about how school is going. You can start by asking open-ended questions to see how the school is, what their teachers are like, and how they are handling the workload.

Once your child confides to you about a difficulty they’re going through, it is important to set realistic expectations with your child while also encouraging them to do their best. Set reasonable and measurable goals with your child, and help them figure out steps they need to complete to fulfill their goals. The beauty about setting expectations is that it isn’t static, and can be adjusted over time as your child starts to master certain learning skills.

The next important concept to teach to your kids is time management. Do you frequently have difficulty motivating your kids to do their homework? Do you ever wonder how to structure your child’s day so that their learning time is balanced with play time? While it may seem overwhelming to find an ideal solution, the key to success is building a schedule with your child and identifying key tasks to be completed.

Establishing consistent rules and routines can help structure your child’s day so that there is order and productivity. Start with a schedule, and help your child prioritize important school-related tasks and assign a time frame for them to complete each task. It also doesn’t hurt to throw in a couple of rewards each time your child completes a task to serve as positive reinforcement. Not to mention, the sense of achieving a reward helps your child to build self-esteem as well as de-stress.

Lastly, academic struggles can stem from various factors including learning disabilities, emotional distress, neurocognitive impairments and other mental health conditions. If you feel

that your child continues to struggle in school despite interventions, it would be beneficial to reach out to a pediatrician or psychiatrist to further assess any possible underlying developmental, medical, or behavioral issues. Academic struggles can stem from various factors, including learning disabilities, emotional distress, mental health conditions, or external stressors. Parents also have the legal right to request child study evaluations from their school district which involves a team of specialists that conduct behavioral, psychological, language, and speech assessments to determine if a child would benefit from an individualized education plan or 504 plan. Both IEP and 504 plans help to provide support for students with different disabilities, medical issues, or behavioral concerns to succeed in school.

Remember you are not alone in this academic journey with your child. Make sure to use your child’s school resources that are available like teachers, guidance counselors, and tutors. Co-create solutions together with your child’s teachers, and pick their brains to see how your child is performing in class. Share your insight about your child’s study and learning habits at home, that way you can bridge the gap between the child’s performance at school and home. This is a collaborative approach that will help enrich your child’s progress and growth.

Co-Authors Profile:

Amy De Silva, MD
Child & Adolescent Psychiatric Fellow
Trustee-at-Large, New Jersey Psychiatric Association 

Dr. Thomas Priolo
Medical Director, Child & Adolescent Consult & Liaison Psychiatry
Assistant Program Director, Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist Urgent Care with Behavioral Health